Gamer on a Budget #7
Zombie Shooter 2
by William LJ Galaini
Zombie Shooter 2
Developer: Sigma Team
Where: Steam, Amazon, Gamersgate, Sigma Team’s website
Look up above there. That little picture is from my steam account and those are the six hours I dedicated to playing this game for this review. Those hours are now dead and gone. When I am in hospice I will be chipping my teeth while balling my sheets into my liver-spotted fists because I can’t get those six hours back. What could I have done with those six hours, you say? I could have caught up on sleeping, beaded two and a half necklaces for my mother, watched Schindler’s List twice, or perhaps I could have played some other game. Yes, that’s it; I should have played another game.
Why wouldn’t I play this game? Why wouldn’t I enjoy an old-school shooter that was clearly inspired by Smash TV’s monstrous hordes? Well, there are three reasons why Zombie Shooter 2 is where fun goes to die:
1. The art design is below what a fifth grader would scribble on their binder.
2. The control is floaty, imprecise, and abysmal.
3. The sound effects are so god-awful that they overshadow the typos in character dialogue.
Zombie Shooter 2 has you select from one of several pre-made characters that lack any in-game distinction to begin your battle of survival. As you level said boring person, you can choose to increase their movement speed or weapons skill in one of several categories of boring weaponry. Littered about the road and railway stations, you will find MOUNTAINS of ammunition and health kits that would rival any fly-over state’s militia headquarters. Sometimes you’ll even find mounted machineguns for clearing entire shooting galleries of the undead or perhaps you can drive around a Mini Cooper with a weapon twice its weight mounted on top. The game has variety somewhat, and the tenets of a top-down shooter fest are all there.
All those tenets are nothing when compared to the amazingly poor production quality. NPCs and you yourself will be constantly caught on invisible corners, nothing provides any challenge, and the very movement of your character is bizarre in that you swivel your upper body independently of your legs giving your player a mech-like appearance. There are significant resolution issues as well, making the game look even more pig ugly, and holy crap just turn off all sound. Zombie Shooter 2 sounds like it is coming out of Creative Labs latest Soundblast pro.
Why you would buy it:
Why you would pass on it:
Recommended for: Time travelling monks that wish to record humanity’s atrocities.