Consoulless, Consoul Reaver, Consoulsucked? (working title)

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Consoulless, Consoul Reaver, Consoulsucked? (working title)

Post by Jan » Sat Jun 02, 2007 9:06 pm

Lately I have been playing a lot of console ports to the pc. Truly boring, uninspiring, predictable and repetitive games. I don't quit before I quit. I just cannot fathom that anyone would make a crap game and if I read a glorifying review of such a game I keep playing because maybe it's just around the corner, any minute now, damn missed it, but maybe here? etcetera.. uh, 'ish.

I have made some advancing queries into the console psychology, which reveals a hidden agenda to zombify and enslave the human race in eternal joy of repeating mindless routines. Unfortunately my laziness and creativity combined makes me immune to this influence. My gaming body dispell routines, before I get joystuck. Zero taste - max sugar.

Freedom of choice is clearly an unknown phenomena like an UFO in the console context. Tomb Raider: Legend follows the formulaes of the holy quadro-console-unity and triunity, times two for that juicy repeatness joy effect, strictly. Every puzzle fits within the count of four and every interactive cutscene is a count of three strokes. The whole game is made of routines. Predictable gameplay is the only kind of gameplay and you are safely being guarded from surprises by displaying which key to use next instead of having to charge into unknown key combinations. It's starting to make sense why you can only save the game at checkpoints. If you were able to save the game anywhere, like on any native pc game, routine building would be nearly impossible. Hm.. fun is clearly not the motivation, because there is none of it, but what else is there? Why bother with a game that doesn't arouse you or challenge you? It makes no sense to me. There must be a more sinister agenda at work. Maybe consoles are supposed to pave the way for mindless work drones?

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Post by Joseph » Sat Jun 02, 2007 9:15 pm

I agree 100% with your assessment of console games and the zombification process. While I'm the first to admit I'm no gamer and my gaming period was solely comprised of my BIS phase (and a few other titles I tried during that time) I don't understand the "allure" of console titles from what I've seen. Well, cynically, I can. Mass marketing crap appealing to the lowest common denominator... the intellectually stunted. Seems that zombie plot is working.

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