[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 678: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4688: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3823)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4690: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3823)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4691: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3823)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4692: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3823)
Winterwind Productions • View topic - LS' reviews! : Portal

Winterwind Productions

Home of the Winterwind Papers ezine
It is currently Mon Dec 17, 2018 5:03 am

All times are UTC





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 16 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:45 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:27 pm
Posts: 3185
Location: City of the lost ship industry
Title:
First attempt at a proper review in years!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I recently got a new computer, so I can play all fancy new games. But of late, the game I recently finished (In before Mass Effect 1 and 2) was Portal.

From what I know, some kind of mod or browser game that the boys (and girls?) at Valve got all "WOW" about and decided to give these guys (and gals?) a chance to make their own game (or else they would just steal the idea anyway) out of their old mod or browser game or what now it was. Ohhhh Portal gun. Just like the gravity gun in Half life 2 this gun was so revolutionary in gaming that it got its own cult who sacrifices Daiktana and Sin each Friday (those two things are games) A lot like World of Warcraft! Only that the later can take control of a minor nation. But lets continue with the review.

Portal is a pretty awesome game, aside my dislike for the fan boys love of Valve (They made counter-strike, wow that was so revolutionary too seemingly) and they made Half-life 1 and 2. According to some, best game ever made! Aside any game with Mario in it! Well aside those other weird Mario games like Hotel Mario (don’t mix that up with hotel California please) and that other, Mario in time or what it was called. Portal on the other hand is quit interesting. Its not deep, it got almost no story and the character is a classical "Japanese RPG" hero or a "Gordon Freeman. A mute bastard, although this time we get a woman! Hurrah. That is also, revolutionary I bet according to some fan boys (and girls) Although the portal gun makes this game into a pretty interesting puzzle game that almost had me fiddling around with it for long enough to get all the achievements after finishing it.

GLaDOS also makes up for it, She do not have a sexy ShoDAN or EDI voice perhaps but her psychotic voice is fun non the less to listen to. What’s up with the female AI's anyway? Non the less to spoil it in your face, she is of course psychotic and you will get a bunch of leads on what is going on. Other people who been here left notes, camped in weird places and I presume, has died while sitting there, drinking water and listening to radio behind those extendable walls.

Non the less, the game is worth its while indeed. Short but fun, fun but confusing perhaps at times. The ending I found a bit annoying and the source engine is really getting old (was it ever that fancy? Just being easy to use for modders was the big deal I say) Well non the less I find it hasn't aged well. Non the less the game is not that new anymore and I should not be so harsh on it, but I will be non the less. Its a good game at least.

Sound: Do anybody really care that much about sound? Its not WOW so I just give it a random number of 7/10

Graphic: 7/10 The source engine is not that impressive anymore "ohh but Garrys mod and all those addons you can download!". I for one is not happy to download half a ton of addons, patches and fiddle in ini files to much to make a game "good looking" or "fun to play". Non the less graphics are not that important, Portal looks decent.

Story: 8/10 Well I said there is no story, but something goes on behind the scenery, which makes it a bit more interesting. For you Half life nerds you also like this game. SPOILER ALERT, cause it ties up with that bloody game and this means that Gordon Freeman I presume will run around with a portal gun in Half life 2: Episode 3 "Forever" to make it even harder for the combine to kill this bloody muted scientist nerd we all should feel attached to with his black glasses, red beard and scientist power suit. I sure don’t, but GLaDOS is fun


Fun: 8,5-9/10 Most important category, even shitty games can get a high fun. It is fun to fiddle around with the portal gun. The weird mixture of FPS and semi-puzzle makes it interesting. But if you look for a hardcore puzzle game or action game you wont be that pleased. The common enemy you end up meeting is stationary machine gun sentry bots who speak in wimpy voices about not being angry at you for tilting them over.

GLaDOS: She get 11/10 just cause she is a psychotic AI, without her this game would be just a boring show off game of what the source engine can do

There is probably more categories to add to make it into a cliché review of some magazine or online page but I feel lazy this Friday so I wont do that. The English is worthless I bet and I turn a bit crazy when I write this. That is what I aim for to just write it out there. Next game I consider tossing up in one of these ego boosting reviews (oh I finished a game!!!!!) threads will either be, Mount and Blade: Warband Mass Effect (1 and 2) or Dragon Age if I manage to finish it soon (god its tedious dungeon crawling)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:41 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 12:27 pm
Posts: 3520
Location: not here
Title:
Don't give up your day job.. :wink: :mrgreen:

Nice first attempt at a review LS.. Points for trying. :haksthumbsup:

Just a few ideas to help and suggest some CATEGORIES.

Well, why bother with scores if they don't make sense? I think you have to focus on what you like and not how it would rate compared to any other 'established' magazine, who obviously don't know wtf they are on about anyway, but knowing your background would help to give you some credits. For instance if you mention that you liked Morrowind, then I would instantly know, on a strictly personal level in my case, that anything you say has no merit whatsoever, because anyone liking Morrowind is a total moron in my opinion. Case closed. If you list a bunch of games you liked to give me a CASE OF REFERENCE for what you actually mean especially if I find that your taste are more like mine and I guess anyone else would feel the same if they saw their favorite games in your list. Know what I mean?

I think that IMMERSION is the most important aspect of any game. Any game that captivates you, that you just have to keep going, that you start looking at the clock and think that maybe you can just do two hours of sleep this night thinking that you can catch up with any lost sleep in the afternoon when you get home from work.. is obviously a solid 100% no matter how it looks. REPLAY value come into play later. Deus Ex was pretty interesting on the first run, but on replay I realized just how totally linear the game really was as I stumbled into a lot of broken dialogue trees, that broke the game for me.

Reviews are about being personal, because speaking in general doesn't work. Taste is always personal. Having a PERSONAL EDGE is interesting.

Gameplay as in MECHANICS, game BUGS and broken dialogue or quest trees are different from all the taste related parts of a game. Gamestoppers can be quite bad.. Vampire Bloodlines had some, but it was still an awesome game, in my opinion. Bloodlines has it all, HUMOR (LOL FACTOR).. Nosferatu way of dealing with the food critic.. LOL 100, sex, chills, massive replay value, sound, music and one of the hardest choices.. dealing with that jules guy presented one such really hard decision.. Quite an EMOTIONAL CHALLENGE. Unfortunately the combat could be a bit of of an immersion breaker.. when fighting alongside someone.. Bioshock on the other hand found a way to avoid breaking immersion when dealing with GAME DEATH.. Any game that force you to reload is kind of a lost cause in that apartment, when you have to fiddle around with GAME MENUS. S.T.A.L.K.E.R. had another annoying aspect of having too many keys for an action game.. it was like impossible to use that low crouch for the finger dexterity challenged old gamer guys.. like me.

Having a girl in a game.. makes a lot more sense that having a guy, because most gamers are guys that get too little sex.. Having a female heroine.. maybe one that you can undress too.. that's like a game in itself to try and look under her skirt or capture her cleavage.. mmmmmmmmm... hehe. Visas in KotOR II.. Yummi. SEX APPEAL. Just look at Annah in Planescape: Torment.. Poster child.. Pixie Annah.. Mmmmmm.. Or all those lovely pictures of massive boobies in the archive.. Nearly thinking that boobies and size should be a category in itself. Definitely sex appeal.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:06 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:27 pm
Posts: 3185
Location: City of the lost ship industry
Title:
I have no day job ;)

And thank you.

Oh yes, the scoring always been a bit dumb and not saying much at all.

Some favourit games?

Well

Suikoden series (Oh yes JRPG)
Fallout 2
Baldurs Gate 1 and 2
Mass Effect 1 and 2
Command and Conquer was for long a wonderful game until EA took over
Beneath a Steel sky
Metal Gear Solid 1,2,3
Company of Heroes
Neverwinter Nights
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Fahrenheit (the first half was good, rest is...meh!)
Hogs of War, hillarious
Warband!

I bet I can fill it up some more but its what I figured out and what I just saw form looking around in here

True true Immersion is a ton of importance! Gameplay (bugs), HUMOR and sex appeal is also interesting categories.

Thank you for the tips :D

Morrowind was fun, until I found out it was like a empty MMO with no RP what so ever worth the name of roleplay.

Visas! :D


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:37 pm 
Offline
Editor
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 2:29 pm
Posts: 14046
Sex appeal as a category for gaming reviews???

Marcus, seriously, get yourself a girlfriend and stop watching anime and tentacle porn! ;)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:29 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:27 pm
Posts: 3185
Location: City of the lost ship industry
Title:
I said it was interesting topics. Blame Jan. :P


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:46 pm 
Offline
Patron
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 9:39 am
Posts: 5049
Location: Australia
Not perfect, but damn, you do where the rest of us just think it would be nice if somebody ELSE did it :mrgreen:

I haven't seen Portal, so I know very little about it other than what I read/head.

Jan has a point about CATEGORIES. I would go one step further and add CRITERIA for your scores. You may do yourself a favour by developing a TEMPLATE for your reviews.

E.g.

BLURB: What does the press say

INSTALLATION/OPTIONS/CUSTOMIZATION: How hard is it to get it up and running. Need internet connection (that already cost -1 point), need special software (STEAMWORKS, TAGES etc. -5 points), need non standard controllers to play optimally, how well is it localized in your country etc.

Next bit is tricky, because it depends a lot on the genre of the game. Not in any particular order.

GAME MECHANICS: Shooter mechanics for shooters (is it responsive, too much, too little, pacing, difficulty, deus ex machine interference etc.), Combat rules for strategy games/crpgs (balancing, challenge, AI levels etc.) and so forth.

VISUALS: Graphics whores or not, we like the visuals nice and adding to the experience. Again, different genres have different ambition levels. FPS wants to immerse you in the world, crpgs and sims is also about feedback so you can see the results of your decisions, some games are better with crisp and 'stylized' visuals whereas others go for 'realism' depending on art direction.

AUDIO: From the bleeping feed back of strategy games to the 7.1 surround of sims and shooters. Audio like visuals is there to both immerse (ambience) and you and inform you through feed back (sound effects). Like visuals, some go for stylized and some for realism.

Heck ART DIRECTION could have it's own category. Show how elitist you are :)

TECHNICAL: Stability, bugs, after sales support etc.

FUN/CONCLUSION: Screw formality, did you have fun playing it?

And then the aforementioned criteria for each category. Feature x gives bonus, feature y subtracts points etc. Put a weight on the objective part and a weight on the subjective part. E.g. the visuals, tech, etc. can contribute up to 70% of a perfect score and your subjective likes/dislikes can contribute the remaining 30% That way a polished piece of crap can get say 65% (65 entirely on tech merits and 0% on 'fun' factor) whereas a broken piece of entertaining crap can get the same score (35% from dubious tech merits and 30% because of that non-quantifiable 'fun' factor).

All arbitrary numbers and just food for thought.

Actually, all of it just food for thought.

_________________
A dyslexic walks into a bra...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 4:09 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 12:27 pm
Posts: 3520
Location: not here
Title:
And don't forget about SEX APPEAL. Do you honestly think any artist and designer would bother making hot and sexy action figures in games if it didn't serve a purpose? It's a way of getting porn on their computers legally!! Yep, those poor horny souls in the gaming industry they got some pretty mean and watchful employers who block all their favorite porn sites and keep checking for porn on their machines..


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:02 pm 
Offline
Patron
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 9:39 am
Posts: 5049
Location: Australia

_________________
A dyslexic walks into a bra...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:36 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:27 pm
Posts: 3185
Location: City of the lost ship industry
Title:
Bioware?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 1:25 am 
Offline
Patron
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 9:39 am
Posts: 5049
Location: Australia
I mentioned no names :cool:

_________________
A dyslexic walks into a bra...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:17 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 12:27 pm
Posts: 3520
Location: not here
Title:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:56 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:27 pm
Posts: 3185
Location: City of the lost ship industry
Title:
Okay! It's soon time to review the game of your request in the next episode of "I freaking review this shit" , Persona 3: FES! A JRPG with teenagers fighting demons and being teenagers they start to love each others and all that stuff and talk to dogs and fight big ass monsters each fullmoon. Just like any teenager, cept its all in Japan.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:59 am 
Offline
Editor
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 2:29 pm
Posts: 14046
Oh, those Japanese and their teenage demon fighters... ;)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:41 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 12:27 pm
Posts: 3520
Location: not here
Title:
It might be good if it goes by the rulebook.. :twisted:



Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: LS' reviews! : Portal
PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 5:33 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:27 pm
Posts: 3185
Location: City of the lost ship industry
Title:
Sorry, its westernized I guess! Not following the codex of anime rules! :P


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 16 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group