Haiku for you!

Creative arts of all kinds, produced and consumed
User avatar
Magnus
Posts: 5116
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:46 am
Title: Oh my giant of Lannister
Location: I, cat loon
Contact:

Haiku for you!

Post by Magnus » Wed Jan 25, 2006 6:20 am

In soviet Russia
Haiku write you with pencil
Stabbing hurts my spleen

Oh great Cthulhu
All your base are belong to
us for great justice

Tiny gnomes shout out
For my gangsta brothers yo
Pimp them bitches yeah

Fallout Boy or Pip
Eternal question is hard
Where is my popcorn?

Of Nameless One said:
To lead with your stem do not
Sneak like hot Tiefling
I do bugger-all, but that's OK;
I sleep all night, and I read all day!

User avatar
Noober
Posts: 763
Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2005 3:30 pm

Post by Noober » Wed Jan 25, 2006 7:45 am

Sometimes i wonder what the hell is wrong with you... My co-workers are probably thinking the same thing about me right now...
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

User avatar
Magnus
Posts: 5116
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:46 am
Title: Oh my giant of Lannister
Location: I, cat loon
Contact:

Post by Magnus » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:58 am

Hmmm, haikus are boring. I think I'll just go with lewd jokes for now. Feel free to join.

A grungy old lumberjack, in town for the first time in weeks, went to the local brothel and demanded the roughest, toughest and meanest girl in the house. "That'll be Agnes," said the madam. "Go to room four, and I'll send her up."

"Fine," said the lumberjack, "and tell her to bring a couple of beers." In due time, Agnes appeared. She put the two bottles of beer on the floor, took off her negligee, positioned herself on her hands and knees and pointed to her pussy.

"No! No!" exclaimed the lumberjack. "In the bed, the old fashioned way!"

"Sure pal," grunted Agnes, "but I thought ya might want to open them beers first."

Q: What do you call a leper in a bathtub?
A: Porridge
I do bugger-all, but that's OK;
I sleep all night, and I read all day!

User avatar
Noober
Posts: 763
Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2005 3:30 pm

Post by Noober » Thu Jan 26, 2006 10:54 am

What's the point with Haiku's? They seem like nonsense to me, but then again, i never was poetic..
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

User avatar
Magnus
Posts: 5116
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:46 am
Title: Oh my giant of Lannister
Location: I, cat loon
Contact:

Post by Magnus » Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:38 am

I think haikus were invented so that people like me could waste time and effort producing a bunch of... well, arse.
I do bugger-all, but that's OK;
I sleep all night, and I read all day!

User avatar
Jan
Posts: 3520
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 12:27 pm
Title: The 6th Non-Sense
Location: not here

Post by Jan » Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:30 pm

I dedicate this haiku to the arsemonkeys.

I dub thee Shit, that floats in toilet

A shit is falling
From the bottom to the top
What's up, doc(tor)?
CatBoris wrote:I think haikus were invented so that people like me could waste time and effort producing a bunch of... well, arse.
I think you manage quite well without any excuses.

User avatar
Noober
Posts: 763
Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2005 3:30 pm

Post by Noober » Fri Jan 27, 2006 12:16 pm

Short worm is crying
Torn to bits
The fishy smell of doom


Does that qualify for a haiku?
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

User avatar
Jan
Posts: 3520
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 12:27 pm
Title: The 6th Non-Sense
Location: not here

Post by Jan » Fri Jan 27, 2006 4:02 pm

A strange ruleset. Haiku: verse of 5-7-5 syllables to a total of 17 syllables, present tense, and a reference or association to nature or the forces of nature and it must be a special event and not a generalization. What do you think?

User avatar
Noober
Posts: 763
Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2005 3:30 pm

Post by Noober » Fri Jan 27, 2006 5:54 pm

Short worm is crying
Winds of winter laugh at him
Fishy doom is looming

how 'bout now?
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

User avatar
Magnus
Posts: 5116
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:46 am
Title: Oh my giant of Lannister
Location: I, cat loon
Contact:

Post by Magnus » Sat Jan 28, 2006 8:12 am

He is not a man
Small sausage of icy winds
What the hell goes on?
I do bugger-all, but that's OK;
I sleep all night, and I read all day!

User avatar
Fluffy17
Posts: 2495
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2004 7:16 pm
Title: Token Archer Fan
Location: Battling Daleks with Claudia Black at my side on the Enterprise

Post by Fluffy17 » Sat Jan 28, 2006 11:28 pm

That Cop's a mormon
Not a Presbyterian
like Agnes Moorehead
I have no time for flat characters why should I have times for flat people?

I'm Otto von Bismarck watch me blow, watch the butterflies coming out of my nose.

"You can't choose what bothers you, that's why it bothers you."

-Rachel Duncan

User avatar
Fluffy17
Posts: 2495
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2004 7:16 pm
Title: Token Archer Fan
Location: Battling Daleks with Claudia Black at my side on the Enterprise

Post by Fluffy17 » Sat Jan 28, 2006 11:30 pm

Noober wrote:What's the point with Haiku's? They seem like nonsense to me, but then again, i never was poetic..
A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid.
I have no time for flat characters why should I have times for flat people?

I'm Otto von Bismarck watch me blow, watch the butterflies coming out of my nose.

"You can't choose what bothers you, that's why it bothers you."

-Rachel Duncan

User avatar
Magnus
Posts: 5116
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:46 am
Title: Oh my giant of Lannister
Location: I, cat loon
Contact:

Post by Magnus » Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:46 am

A haiku is dumb
That we can all agree on
It does not rhyme well
I do bugger-all, but that's OK;
I sleep all night, and I read all day!

User avatar
Joseph
Editor
Editor
Posts: 14182
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 2:29 pm
Title: I wanna be Captain Kirk
Location: Here... no, there...

Post by Joseph » Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:14 am

I happen to like every single haiku in this thread. They give me much pleasure and many giggles. Thank you all.

User avatar
Magnus
Posts: 5116
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:46 am
Title: Oh my giant of Lannister
Location: I, cat loon
Contact:

Post by Magnus » Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:44 am

This is internet
Fish's gift to lazy folk
Buy pizza online
I do bugger-all, but that's OK;
I sleep all night, and I read all day!

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests