Winterwind Productions

A new piece for the Latrine. Here it is!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Josan, want to feel the heat in my loins for you? *pours hot water in his crotch and forms a small glacier*

Ok, three comments for that one:

1. There are places in the world, where garbage collectors pick up art and remove it
2. "Oh, my, how their ovaries would quiver with the turn of each page" ??? I'm still having giggling fits...
3. Romance writing seems to be the result of a diseased mind, where the brain has melted into snot and dribbled out

Genious. Pure genious.

My only question is:

If you've never read a romance paperback, then how do ou know how to write it?

Any one can write that swill. That was my point. Well, maybe not anyone. Being a smoothtakler and graduate of the Captain Kirk School of Charm helps. Besides, the majority of women are simple to figure out. Pushing buttons is easy.

It's true...

A woman admiting it? I give you credit for your honesty.

I still think it's suspicious that you wrote that text so easily.

I once heard the formula for writing soap operas was to think of the dumbest thing you could an dthat was the show. Romance follows a similar formula. And, as for my ability to write it so easily... *shrugs* I'm a writer. I can write in any genre. I just prefer lyrics and satire. Romance is easy. Ever been forced to watch a chick flick by a girl you're seeing? The scars stay with you.

Yeah, me too... I think you secretly sit at home on rainy evenings, all curled up in bed with your favorite smutty romance novel and a glass of red wine.

*heaves the heavy sigh of the long suffering and misunderstood*

At the very least, I'm glad you folks read the bloody think. Though now I'm starting to wish I hadn't written it all.

You know we're only teasing you because we like it.

I could write a romance novel. It involves the words "pulsating meat piston" and "moistened love furnace."

May Our Lord Fish protect me!!!

I went over to visit a friend from work yesterday. Her flatmate was away visiting family for the Easter weekend and...

I saw something so frightening, so absolutely terrifying...

Her flatmate is 26. A virgin. Not that that's a bad thing I suppose but...

She has a collection of romance books. Over 200 and probably closer to 300. It was unbelievable. Closet packed full of them. Bookshelves overflowing. Milk crates full of them. Clearly the most disturbing thing I've ever seen with my own two eyes.

And for the record, since I've been asked about this before: In the romance passage I wrote it this article, the name Jessica was NOT taken from that dizzy little self-serving attention whore I dated last spring. The article was written in January. I met her in March. The name and the scenario of a servant girl was actualy taken from a M*A*S*H episode where Charles was reading a scene from a novel to Maragret. The mere fact that I even wrote some songs for that dizzy little twit in an attempt to boost her sagging self-esteem galls me no end in hindsight. Blech.