So why the hell am I going with out all of these great benefits? I mean, I'm stressed out. I get frequent tension headaches. My muscle tone is off. And I don't think anyone has ever, in their life, been as sexually frustrated as I've been this past year. I'm a very passionate, sensual and sexual person. And I'm doing this to myself.

Willingly.

Well, there is a reason.

I did something stupid.

Something really stupid.

I fell in love.

Now, ideally, you fall in love and have amazing days and nights in the arms of the object of your affection, making Olympic gymnasts look like uncoordinated amateurs right?

Not in my case.

Not with my luck.

I went through a variation of "boy meets girls, boy loses girl" that I could never have imagined. It was more like

"boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl comes back, boy loses girl again so boy pledges undying love then girl says cryptically deep things that hang over boy's head like the Sword of Damocles then girl gives mixed signals and strange looks when she sees boy and boy starts wondering what the hell he did to deserve them and if girl is a frightened little girl in love or a game player with a cold, hard heart of stone".

I mean, if someone had told me a year ago that I'd meet this woman, fall head over heels in love then lose her, write 23 songs for her in less than a year, wear her ring on my finger every day, miss her every night and take a vow of celibacy, promising to wait the rest of my life for her, I'd have said that person was a complete and total blithering idiot.

But, that's exactly what I did. So maybe I'm the complete and total blithering idiot.

Why am I celibate?

Why am I waiting for one woman?

Was the sex that good?