There.

Over there.

Look to the left…

See all that grey hair?

That's mine.

And every single one has a woman's name attached to it because women, and the act of trusting them, have been the bane of my existence.

Actually, I'm lying.

Those aren't grey hairs. They're natural platinum blonde highlights.

I appear to be some kind of magnet for Neurosis Monthly Covergirls.

I also think that there's some strange femme fatale mind control experiment going on at the local university.

Regardless of the reason, the simple fact is women can not be trusted.

I blame Eve, Susan B. Anthony and the mother in Mary Poppins.

Now with an article like this, where women are involved, sooner or later, in some form, sex comes into play.

I've had my share of lovers. I stopped counting long ago. I can't remember, and in fact, didn't even know, all of their names.

I am at heart a hopeless romantic, but when I'm single... What can I say? My boyhood heroes were Captain Kirk, Sam Malone and Dan Fielding.

So, this could all too easily turn into "Confessions of a Male Gigolo".

But it won't. That's a full length autobiography currently in the works.

At this point, I should note that several ex lovers haunt Winterwind. I've no clue why. They never contact me. I just see their ghosts in the IP logs from time to time.

So, ladies, I'd like to say this: any inclusion or omission of any of you is in no way and indication of lingering love or loathing. I've some degree of affection for each of you so… on with the roasting!