Man, do gay guys have it easy these days. True, there're still parts of the worlds that are blatantly homophobic and the whole adoption issue has yet to be resolved. I mean, who cares about a little discrimination here and there, not to mention flagrant violations of human rights? Oh wait. I kinda do. So yeah, all those things are definitely bad and should be addressed. By someone else (or at least at another time). This time, I'm going to get very self-absorbed for a minute or two. And when I do, I'm kind of jealous of gay guys.

Confusion is bound to appear. How can I start this article talking about some pretty severe injustices, then go on and say I'm jealous? Simple, I'm talking about something else entirely. I'm talking about identity. At least they know who they are. Well, they do once they've figured out who they are anyway. I really should try and get this to be less complicated.

One more shot then, here goes. I sort of belong to the group of men that are frequently referred to as metrosexual. In short, I suppose I can be described as acting like I'm gay when I'm really not. Except it's not quite that simple. Here's what I know:

I like clothes and fashion (when I can afford to). I'm interested in learning more about body grooming. I shave more places than just my face. I enjoy musicals from time to time. Hell, I'd even consider using make-up if I had the know-how and wasn't just a little too lazy to learn. And apparently I give off a gay vibe. It's happened more than once that someone's told me they were sure I was gay.

To make matters worse, I also have some interests that are typically considered very manly. I like sports and beer, can't drink wine (unless I want to get sick) and I like to get geeky about computers.

To summarize, my feminine side is just as strong, or possibly a bit stronger, than my masculine side. Now, I know all this, so what's really the problem? Why do I envy the gay guys? Think about it. If I was going to go out wearing make-up, the immediate assumption would be that I was gay. And when it's discovered I'm not, I'll just be plain weird instead. Society really hasn't gotten that far yet. Or how about having a girl you're interested in not even registering you on her radar, because she thinks you swing the other way.

So yes, it's all about identity. Or rather, the perception of identity. Who others think you are. I know, I know. If I've got a handle on myself and my own sexuality, what does it matter what others think? A whole lot, actually. It shouldn't, but it does. No one likes being the weird one out. No one likes having people stare at you and snicker behind your back. We really should be more accepting of each others quirks, but like I said, society really hasn't gotten that far.

We have a tendency to stereotype, to label. Since I don't really fit into any one label, it all gets very confusing at times. I don't know what's expected of me, how I'm supposed to act. Or more importantly where to draw the line. If you have any easy answers, please let me know.

So while I wouldn't want to trade places with anyone facing homophobia and discrimination, sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could just find that magical place where I knew exactly how to be, how to act at all times. If only that place wasn't one of the biggest lies in history, of course.

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