The three-fold mysteries of Fish
1) From whence did He come?
2) What is our destination?
3) What's for tea?
That Fish loves us as His own protozoa (for that is from which we didst originally come) is evident, and requires little explanation. However, His origins are a mystery. Didst Fish come from the stars? As such, is He therefore a "Starfish"? Why does He suffer the continued existence of the Angler (accurséd is his name!)? If Fish
didst indeed come from the stars, as some Fishite scholars have postulated, didst He bring the Angler with Him, attached to His Most Holy form as some lowly parasite, akin to a lamprey? Will Fish some day return to His starry spawning ground, and will He then bring His faithful with Him? Will this mark the end of the world, with a cataclysmic battle with the Angler, or will the world be left in the hands of the Angler, ruling over the remaining faithless?
Again, Fish's benevolent intentions are self evident, but what is His ultimate
goal? What does He have in store for us?
The Feces of Fish is known throughout the world as a most sought after delicacy, that goes especially well with toast. However, whilst this is self evident, it does not give us an answer to the question, that is as old as human reasoning itself: What's for tea? For whilst one day might bring us toast, another might bring us various
dairy products. So what is the definite answer to this question? Is there One Such True Meal? That is a question that has bothered the High-Priesthood for untold millennia, and the lay members as well have not escaped this puzzling conundrum.
There are also the three hidden mysteries of the Angler:
Again, many aspects of the Angler are self evident, such as his hatred of Fish, Fishites, and all that these stand for. His drive to corrupt and destroy all that Fish has created is also apparent,
even to the blindest of cave-fish. But there are some things about the Angler that we must contemplate if we are to serve fish, and resist the advances of the Angler.
The first is this: What is the ultimate goal of the Angler?
Simply to stand against Fish and all his followers undoubtedly brings the Angler some form of perverse
pleasure, but what does he hope to accomplish?
The second mystery of the Angler is this: Didst Fish create him, or didst he come from without?
The Angler exists, of this there can be no doubt, unlike in some other religions, where the great adversary is usually just a anthropomorphication of the baser sides of humanity. Daily doth the Angler vex the Faithful of Fish and test their faith. But is he a product of Fish's boundless fertility and creativity? A rotten egg, as such?
Or is he something else entirely? If he is not one of Fish's creations, are there more like him out there? Are they as bellicose, and is the Angler perhaps only the least of them?
The third and final mystery of the Angler is this: Can he be defeated?
The Angler is beyond mortal reach. Whilst the especially devout and holy (such as Ralph the Prophet, and Al the Apostle) can channel their faith in such a way, such as to drive away the Angler and his evil minions, he always returns. But whilst no single man (or woman, or protozoa) may defeat him,
can a massed effort, aided by Fish, destroy the Angler once and for all?