First six pages of comic

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Fluffy17
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First six pages of comic

Post by Fluffy17 » Mon Apr 15, 2013 7:50 am

Posting outline will be posted soon. Here's however the first six pages.

PAGE ONE (SIX PANALS)

PANAL ONE. Establishing shot. The Connors's house. TERESA and WILLIAM just enter the house and are taking off their coats having just coming home from a night out. WILLIAM is in black-tie apparel and TERESA is wearing a dress that is very close to the black Givenchy dress of Audrey Hepburn. Their six-year-old daughter LYNN runs towards them, happy to see her parents.

CAP: Detroit, 1986

LYNN: Mommy, daddy!

TERESA: Lynn my little darling.

WILLIAM: Hey there kiddo.

PANAL TWO. TERESA is crouched and has her hands open as LYNN runs into her arms.

PANAL THREE. LYNN is hugging TERESA and is smiling over TERESA'S shoulder.

LYNN: I missed you mommy, I missed daddy too.

PANAL FOUR. TERESA breaks the hug and looks at LYNN.

TERESA: I missed you too.

PANAL FIVE. High angle shot of WILLIAM, a few steps behind LYNN and TERESA. WILLIAM is talking to GRACE, LYNN'S babysitter.

WILLIAM: How much do we owe you now GRACE?

GRACE: 40 dollars, the little tyke was a good girl. No trouble at all.

TERESA: Good to know that, she deserves ice cream for her behavior.

PANAL SIX. TERESA gets up from hugging LYNN, who is excited to hear about ice cream.

TERESA: You heard your dad and GRACE, what kind of ice cream do you want?

LYNN: Rocky Road!

TERESA: You got it missy. Head up to bed and I'll get you some.

LYNN: Yes Mommy.

PAGE TWO. (SIX PANALS)

PANAL ONE. GRACE heads to the kitchen following TERESA, who is taking out ice cream from the freezer.

GRACE: TERESA I need to tell you something about Lynn.

TERESA: What is it?

GRACE: She well, has powers like your psychic force projection.

PANAL TWO. TERESA starts to scoop the ice cream, taking this fact rather well.

TERESA: Thanks for telling me this, I'll tell William this after you leave. May I ask what power she has?

GRACE: She's telepathic. She knew everything about me, and always caught me in hide and seek.

PANAL THREE. TERESA starts to put the ice cream away.

TERESA: Want William to walk to you home?

GRACE: Yes I do, and please tell Lynn that she's not normal.

TERESA: I will don't worry.

PANAL FOUR. GRACE starts heading out with WILLIAM helping her out. TERESA is going upstairs with the bowl of ice cream.

WILLIAM: I'll be back soon TERESA.

TERESA: Ok dear love you.

PANAL FIVE. TERESA heads up the stairs. (SFX: thump-thump)

PANAL SIX. TERESA heads to LYNN'S room

LYNN (OP): ICE CREAM!

PAGE THREE. (SIX PANALS)

PANAL ONE. TERESA hands LYNN the ice cream smiling at her daughter.

TERESA: Yeah here you go Lynn.

PANAL TWO. LYNN starts to eat the ice cream than stops. TERESA is sitting near the bed, LYNN having her full attention.

LYNN: Did you know GRACE was worried when I realized she wanted to date uncle Ed? Also She wanted to tell you about my gift when you and daddy got home.

PANAL THREE. TERESA is looking pensive at this statement.

TERESA (thinking): GRACE never mentioned her attraction to Edward this is proof she's telepathic. Now how should I tell her about her gift.

PANAL FOUR. LYNN looks scared and somewhat sad and is hugging her stuffed bunny, MR. EARS.

LYNN: Can you answer why I don't hear voices when I am with you?

PANAL FIVE. TERESA looks LYNN, not missing a beat with her maternal instincts. LYNN is looking at MR. EARS suggesting that she is talking to the animal.

TERESA: Do you and Mr. Ears want a bedtime story for the answer?

LYNN: Mr. Ears says yes.

PANAL SIX. Mid-shot of TERESA as she clears her throat. (SFX: ahem)

PAGE FOUR. (FIVE PANALS)

PANAL ONE. Establishing shot of the bedtime story. Farm in Gilded Plains, Illinois. A younger TERESA around nine or ten is feeding free-range chickens

CAP: Once upon a time, there was a young girl who was unique. She looked normal but she had a destiny. A destiny that would tie her to the quaint farming community of Gilded Plains.

PANAL TWO. Shot of TERESA picking apples from some trees from the Howlett Orchard at dusk.

CAP: She was a hard worker that was instilled by good small-town values by her parents at a young age.

PANAL THREE. Shot of TERESA adventuring in a swamp, a forest and a cornfield with a younger GRACE along with a young TABITHA.

CAP: She gained two friends and the three had many adventures both inside the town and outside the town.

PANAL FOUR. Shot of LESHARD walking the streets of Gilded Plains at night followed by blue meanies (that are colored red as a reference to the Red Scare in the 60s and 70s) and a vampire Jim Morrison. In the background is a 1968 Chevy van colored like the muted color Mystery Machine but with skulls instead of flowers.

CAP: Little did they know that they were going to become the saviors of the town. For the spirit of the town was an evil being known as LeShard and he wanted the innocence that his town that he purged so long ago.

PANAL FIVE. Shot of TERESA, a younger GRACE and a younger TABITHA. Overseeing the death of their parents by a SHADOW BEING. The parents hair are color coded, to their children.

CAP: When LeShard's evil enveloped the town, the three girls were the only ones left. Or so they thought.

PAGE FIVE. (FIVE PANALS)

PANAL ONE. Shot of LYNN cowering behind her blanket. Her ice cream bowl is empty and on an endtable. Her eyes are peeking over her blanket but her nose and mouth are hidden.

LYNN: I'm scared.

PANAL TWO. Shot of TERESA'S hand, trying to coax LYNN out of her blanket.

TERESA (OP): What's wrong?

PANAL THREE. LYNN peeks out from her cover.

LYNN: This story isn't answering my question.

PANAL FOUR. Shot of TERESA laughing.

TERESA: Lynn, you haven't let me finish it.

PANAL FIVE. LYNN has a look of embarrassment.

LYNN: Ok

TERESA: Now then where was I?

LYNN: LeShard just eveloped the town in darkness.

TERESA: Thank you.

PAGE SIX. (SIX PANALS)

PANAL ONE. Shot of the three girls heading to a club house that they built in the forest. It looks more like a tipi than an actual house since they are ages 10 through 14. It is an Adam West Batman blanket that acts like the deerskin.

CAP: The three retreated to their secret club house that they built on their first adventure. Trying to get their bearings and find out what they had to do. Hoping that it would protect them from the enemies of the town.

PANAL TWO. Inside the club house, the three girls are huddled in the tipi. TABITHA being the most afraid, while TERESA is being the most calm, trying to take charge to the team.

TABITHA: I want to stay here, maybe go to the police.

TERESA: We have to go back and see if they are any survivors. We were taught to help people.

PANAL THREE. The girls head outside. TERESA leading them.

TERESA: We can't just hide and starve just because we are afraid. We have to do this to survive. We know each other that is all we have to do, stay together and stay alive.

CAP: The girl convinced her friends to go back to Gilded Plains to find any survivors.

PANAL FOUR. The girls are at the outskirts of town, searching for a bulding that would make a good base or looking for their parents.

CAP: They searched the town to find their parents and free them from the evils of the town.

PANAL FIVE. Shot of TERESA shoving LESHARD into a portal. TABITHA and GRACE are fighting off monsters like the vampire Jim Morrison and Red Meanies

CAP: The girl banished the evil back to limbo and her and her friends gained abilties.

PANAL SIX. Shot of TERESA and WILLIAM'S wedding. The two embracing.

CAP: And the girl grew up and lived happily ever after.
I have no time for flat characters why should I have times for flat people?

I'm Otto von Bismarck watch me blow, watch the butterflies coming out of my nose.

"You can't choose what bothers you, that's why it bothers you."

-Rachel Duncan

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Trailer Park Jesus
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Re: First six pages of comic

Post by Trailer Park Jesus » Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:42 am

um... what? what is this?
magnus wants me. he's so gay.

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Joseph
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Re: First six pages of comic

Post by Joseph » Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:47 am

It's, I believe, a comic that Fluffy and a friend of his are working on.

And how the hell did I miss this? Sorry Fluffy, you posted this 10 days ago and I have no idea how I never noticed this post until now.

It does scream for images. It just doesn't "read" right without them when you know they're supposed to be there of you know what I mean.

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Fluffy17
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Re: First six pages of comic

Post by Fluffy17 » Sun Apr 28, 2013 4:46 pm

Joseph wrote:It's, I believe, a comic that Fluffy and a friend of his are working on.

And how the hell did I miss this? Sorry Fluffy, you posted this 10 days ago and I have no idea how I never noticed this post until now.
Thanks for checking it up.
It does scream for images. It just doesn't "read" right without them when you know they're supposed to be there of you know what I mean.
True, one of the pitfalls of not having being just a writer and not an artist. Everything must be in order, from colors to letters. :(
I have no time for flat characters why should I have times for flat people?

I'm Otto von Bismarck watch me blow, watch the butterflies coming out of my nose.

"You can't choose what bothers you, that's why it bothers you."

-Rachel Duncan

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Joseph
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Re: First six pages of comic

Post by Joseph » Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:29 pm

So how is it progressing anyhow? You'd mentioned your artist friend suggested cutting down on some of the characters. Did that get sorted?

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Trailer Park Jesus
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Re: First six pages of comic

Post by Trailer Park Jesus » Sun May 05, 2013 12:43 am

yeah. the pictures would make this work much better. so where are they?
magnus wants me. he's so gay.

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Fluffy17
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Re: First six pages of comic

Post by Fluffy17 » Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:37 am

Trailer Park Jesus wrote:yeah. the pictures would make this work much better. so where are they?
My artist and I had a falling out. Nothing too serious but he feels very burnt out. His actual job is too much money, bad hours and not enough time for actual drawing. :(
I have no time for flat characters why should I have times for flat people?

I'm Otto von Bismarck watch me blow, watch the butterflies coming out of my nose.

"You can't choose what bothers you, that's why it bothers you."

-Rachel Duncan

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