Ezine Issue 2 - Frankie Malone

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Baley
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Ezine Issue 2 - Frankie Malone

Post by Baley » Wed Sep 06, 2006 12:37 am

Frankie Malone




Mwuhahaha! Instead of "making" Baley promote himself, I simply edited the thread for an earlier draft...

Josan was here

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Joseph
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Post by Joseph » Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:09 pm

Well, you already know part of my opinion on this draft: it was "commissioned" for the lit selection in the 2nd Issue of the zine.

As with Walkabout, I don't edit you heavily since I like your style. I usually just changes some comas to periods, just for the more "conclusive" complete thoughts/sentences.

Gorth is away for a few days (or so he said) but he should give some decent feedback when he shows up.

EDIT: It definately has a less fractured/more connected flow than Legwork.

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Post by Baley » Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:26 pm

Josan wrote:Well, you already know part of my opinion on this draft: it was "commissioned" for the lit selection in the 2nd Issue of the zine.
Well, technically, the paragraphs I sent you have been heavily edited. Because, a) they were sorta gay (and not the good kind of gay either) -- I mean "I was sick that morning, but it was a different kind of sickness and I felt, for the moment happy", Jesus, mate, what was I thinking? -- and b) I always edit in the morning (as I'm better focused and can actually, you know, read the damn thing right).

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Post by Gorth » Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:26 am

Short version :haksthumbsup:

Still a few typos and things, but man, I love your characters.

The setting itself appears pretty timeless as the focus seems to be on the characters and their nature. Could be anywhere from the roaring 20'es to contemporary really.

As a reader, you almost feel like a little scientist studying the life of a microuniverse under your looking glass :)
A dyslexic walks into a bra...

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Post by Joseph » Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:14 pm

Point me to the typos (pg and column). Iwas too damned tired this weekend to do much more than a quick skim on the whole zine before it went up.

And I agree that it could be any era. I asked Baley about it and he said contemporary but to me, I pictured it a few decades back.

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