Game on a Budget #16 – Sex with Stalin
Reviewed by William LJ Galaini
Sex with Stalin
Developer: Boobs Dev (Good luck finding an official website. And yes, that is their name.)
Yup. You read that right. Sex with Stalin. You’re a sexaholic who travels back into time from a near-future Russia to confront Stalin. Through a singular dialogue tree filled with pontification, you steer Stalin’s mentality to change the world. You can land at over twenty different endings, many of which result in… some type of sex with Stalin.
More akin to a visual novel than a game, the technical expertise here is fairly minimal. Everyone looks like melted wax and the animation loops during the slogging dialogue reek of ‘weekend college project.’ As your character selects responses to Stalin’s philosophical meanderings, it is clear that the development team is astoundingly proud that they all read the comic book version of Das Kapital.
Using the term ‘game’ is generous. The ONLY things you control in the ‘game’ are 1.) the camera angle of Stalin’s tiny, subpar office and 2.) the dialogue selection tree that eagerly railroads you to whatever sight-gag the devs wanted to script. And oh, what scripted endings they are. You’ll go from discussing the sociological ramifications of sex to Stalin pissing on a Hitler gimp clone with a single click. Absolutely no logic or context to it, and without logic and context there is no functioning humor.
If 4chan and a seventh grader’s book report on Stalin decided to hate-fuck, we’d get this digital abomination.
Desperate to be relevant, Sex with Stalin is packed with old meme references and nods to American cinema like the Matrix. At one point you can select a dialogue option that inspires Stalin to be a Hip Hop artist and it… is not pleasant. The voice acting is astoundingly bad, the poop jokes obvious and predictable, and since you even start the game off by literally shitting on Stalin’s brow you will have to play through that endlessly just to progress through each dialogue tree option.
The sound is bad. The scrolling text system is serviceable but clunky. The voice acting is also a particular crime with a young person attempting to sound older. I switched it over to Russian hoping for better voice acting, but instead it was just the same voice in a different language so there was no escaping the sucking.
While I played this, a friend watching via Discord stream remarked ‘this is the edgiest of the edgy’ and that wasn’t a compliment. What promised to be a Monty Python-esque exploration of ideas to absurd conclusions clearly devolved into flailing blurred penises and random set pieces without punchlines. It’s a teenage act of cleverness, mistaking itself for intellegent.
Why you would buy it:
To benchmark your emachine
It is funnier to gag-gift than to actually play
Why you would pass on it:
You have standards
You’ve seen Death of Stalin
Seriously, just watch Death of Stalin
Twelve-year-olds watching let’s play videos of screeching YouTubers.