"Then let them die and decrease the surplus population."

So said Ebenezer Scrooge and really, I think he was on to something there even though it was directed at the wrong class of people. The poor are not the problem.

A wise man once said that if Hitler had based his campaign on intelligence instead of race the Third Reich would be alive and well today.

That's the problem. There are, quite simply, far too many stupid people making a right bloody mess of things.

Avian flu? Cull the bird population.

Mad cow disease? Cull the cattle population.

Inherent human stupidity disease? Let it ride baby! Let it ride!

Capitalism, communism, environmentalism, fascism, humanitarianism, masochism, pacifism, sadism, thisism, thatism...

Where do we even start?

Everyone has an opinion and all too often they're utterly inane and worthless. And nine times out of ten it's the wrong person in the wrong position making the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons.

What's the solution?

Quite simply, we need to cull about two-thirds of the human population for the good of the species. But...

Who does the culling?

No-one presently in a position of power is the right person for the job.
I am right person. I am the only one suitable for the position of Supreme Emperor and Overlord of Planet Earth.

Now, which two-thirds?

Oh boy. That is a toughie.

I mean it's easy to say lawyers and politicians. Or the mindless masses watching reality TV or buying celebrity

gossip magazines at the supermarket.

What about war-mongering world leaders or CEOs of environmentally unfriendly corporations or the idiots denying the irrefutable fact that we are depleting and destroying the very planet that sustains us?

What about murderers, rapists and child-molesters wasting resources and space while bleeding hearts preach about redemption and rehabilitation?

What about insane religious zealots killing in the name of some mythical fairy-tale figure? Makes about as much sense as killing in the name of Santa Claus doesn't it?

Figuring out where to start really is a problem. And, as much as it shames me to say it, as brilliant as I am, even I don't have a perfect solution.

There are some very good stupid people and some very bad intelligent people so I can't base it on class or IQ or race. I'm going to have to do it on a case by case basis.

That's going to take some time but the world I build will be that previously thought to be impossible Utopia.

There will be no homelessness or starvation. No bigotry or persecution. There will be clean water and air, medicine and healthcare. There will be music and dancing, art and culture, good food, fine wine and great sex. And an asteroid shield to save us from going the way of the dinosaurs. And space exploration and colonisation just in case...

It's going to be beautiful.

It's just that, unfortunately, it's entirely possible that Mother Nature or human stupidity or 2012 or some idiot with their finger on the button in some silo somewhere is going to do the culling before I can even get started saving us in spite of ourselves.

I guess I'd better book that Munich beer hall soon.

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