The job of a tech support dude
This is a collection of a few calls that I got last week.
---Your phone number?
---Alright, was that two three one zero?
---... Alright sir
---can you click on the start button for me and go into control panel?
---click on the Start button.
i don't have a start button
---... ok, is the computer on sir? yeah.
---what does it say on the bottom left of the screen?
it says start
---Fantastic, click on that
okay. now, do you want me to open, explore or what?
it says open, explore and Search?
---you right clicked on it. I want you to use the left mouse button instead this time
ok... so, where do you want to me to go?
---have you clicked on the Start button yet?
No. Is that what you want me to do?
---Yes, left click on Start for me, sir.
Um.... okay, lets start over. I'm totally lost.
I told a guy once to remove all external devices from his computer so we could run a restore on his computer and he couldn't follow any instructions afterwards because... he... unplugged his... mouse and keyboard...
and finally... (this is the best call I've had so far. I was sure I was being pranked, but it's for real)...
Thank you for calling tech sup-
---HALPME! My f'n computer won't stop beeping! It's driving me crazy. Tell me how to stop it from beeping!
(hearing constant beep noise in the background)
well, um, can I get your phone number please?
---How is giving you my phone number going to help you?! Just tell me how to stop it from beeping! I'm going insane here! How to I stop it?
Why don't you turn the computer off? That would stop the beeping.
---NO! I am not turing it off. Help me.
ok. Can you give me the serial number of the computer?
---How is giving you my serial number going to help?
I need it to confirm that you have a computer that I can support sir what is the serial number?
(long pause. heavy breathing and beeping can be heard)
---ok. serial number is 4555412214468745-21
...that's not the serial number.
Look for a twelve digit number with letters and numbers in it.
(longer pause. heavy breathing and beeping can be heard)
---alright. serial number is mj4h2g1t4521
Alright sir, thank you. That's not a computer that I support in this department, I'll transfer you please hold.
dosen't have a DVD decoder on her computer
tech tells her to do a full format of the hard drive
finished formatting. calling back for further instructions
tech needs to mail her the WinXP cd.
If I had gotten this person at the begining, I would have broken the dumass rules and told her "download a decoder!", or, rent the Matrix or something and install InterActual for free!
(after getting the phone number)
--- what were the last 4 digits again?
--- .......................of your phone number?